Many people who are registered with online dating sites have one main goal, and that is finding their one true love. Most people are aware, or at least vaguely familiar with the algorithms that dating sites use to decide who you are compatible with, in your online dating site. Many dating sites advertise their algorithms as the best way to place you in a group with like-minded singles. I would like everyone to think about how this would work. Does a computer program have the ability to know exactly who would be your best match? Could it possibly have the insight needed to connect you with the one person in the world that will satisfy your needs to the fullest? While it may be the easiest way to sign up for and search through a dating site, I believe it would be far more beneficial for everyone to search for the person that they dream about. Instead of relying on the algorithms of the site to match you, it would be beneficial to seek out matches on your own based on the qualities you are seeking. Whether you have a specific type of person in mind or you are interested in searching over a wide range of different profiles, you could be led astray by the matchmaking services that depend on a computer program to choose the best match for you.
Computer algorithms for online dating and matchmaking generally attempt to match people based on their previous choices in things that they like, purchase, or profiles that they clicked on before. They seek to give you more of the same thing that you showed interest in before. This does not make the people they show to you good matches, it just makes them the type of people you are usually interested in. A good match for you may not be your usual type. I am aware of the possible benefits of algorithms in matchmaking services. They are, in my opinion, only “possible” benefits. Algorithms are useful in narrowing down the vast choices available to a certain extent. They are most useful, in my opinion, to help you eliminate certain groups of people who have habits or lifestyles which are not and will not be compatible with yours. Algorithms, however, cannot know the quality of a person and therefore cannot make a qualitative match. Computers control our world in so many ways, is it beneficial to depend on a program for our happiness? Limiting yourself to one dating site is cutting yourself short. Letting a program, built by someone that will never know you, decide who you are most compatible with is cutting yourself off. I would suggest that everyone could use these programs to the end of their usefulness, and then move on to doing things specifically for yourself. Just as there is no reason to rely on one dating site for years with poor results, there is no reason to rely on computers alone to find your connection.
The proof, as they say, is in the pudding. It is not a coincidence that there are so many people complaining that online dating is not working for them. It is because they trust the algorithms to do its job and match them with the right people, but it is difficult for a computer to understand a variable such as quality. Quality is not something that is easily measurable in numbers, especially since the notion of quality varies from person to person. There are many who met the love of their lives online, but it is not because of the algorithms. In fact, many would argue that it’s pure luck. I would say that it is because some people figured out how to search effectively, while others employed help to accomplish their goal.
I am sure that everyone has an idea of what they are looking for in a mate at the particular time they are looking. I say at the particular time because what a person needs in their life changes as they enter different stages in their life. Generally, people will have a vague personality and physical appearance in mind as they search. You may be looking for a strong independent person, or someone that will be dependent on you in many ways. You could be looking for an athlete or someone that enjoys relaxation and has a few extra pounds. Perhaps you are accepting of any of these characteristics as long as another quality that is specific to you is met. The question, of course, is how many possible matches are kept from you as a result of an algorithm deciding who is best for you?
There are people in the world, myself included, that want to stop making the same mistakes that have made their lives difficult in the past. Some of us made a conscious decision to search for our match in a different way than what would be expected from us. Therefore, we look to dating websites to expand our reach. We don’t always need what others think we should have to make us happy. Sometimes the opposite is true. My wife and I are different in almost every way possible and yet there is no one in the world that could make me happier. We did not need a program to match us, we simply needed a platform that provided us with the means of finding each other. There is no way of knowing if an algorithm would have hidden us from each other because we were not a conventional match, but is it worth the risk?
Algorithms are programs that take some of the thought and decision making out your hands. It is possible for a website that relies on an algorithm to provide you with the match you’ve been looking for your entire life. It is also possible that you could miss out because of the same algorithm. The programs, advertised on your favorite date site, could speed your success in finding your mate or keep you searching for extended periods of time. There is nothing that will take the work, anxiousness, and feelings of frustration away from searching for your ideal mate. There are, however, many things that people do every day that hinders their chances of success. As I stated earlier, use the algorithms on dating sites. After that, use your own judgment to seek your mate. Make sure that you are getting everything that a website is offering, including being able to see all the profiles that you are interested in. Check to see if it is possible to bypass the algorithms, on any site, so that you can break from the norm. You may be pleasantly surprised to find your perfect match in someone that only you would recognize.
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