There are indicators as to whether a person is actually into you or just playing the field to see what is out there. It has become a huge nuisance in the online community, especially the online dating community. There are people that troll others for the purpose of online dating with no intentions of ever meeting. Cat fishing or kitten fishing is one form of this act. It is confusing and breaking hearts in all areas of online communication. So how can we tell if someone is genuine? People online have had plenty of time to perfect their online scams, and there is no shortage of scams. It is commonplace, now, to see scams in every dating site and some are not as obvious as others. Some scams, such as cat fishing, are from a person that is truly looking for love but has no idea how to go about finding it. Some are from people that are married or are people that are seeking multiple casual relationships for fun and using the word love as a tool for their success.
Let’s discuss catfishing. This is when a person lies about who they are, in one form or another, for the purpose of attracting an online date. They use pictures of other people, they talk on the phone but disguise their voices or have their friends talk for them. Many of them have several people helping them in order to provide a convincing friend and family structure. There is no end to this scam because they are looking for attention and never expect to meet in person. These people have created a second life for themselves that will crash down on them if a relationship goes to any other level other than online. It is a common enough occurrence that there have been television shows made about it. These things always end in heartache for all parties involved. I believe the people that start these kinds of scams understand that it will not end well. They seem to be willing to endure the heartache later as long as they are enjoying what they are doing now.
We all know that there are many people online searching for a fling instead of looking for love. This is something that will always be part of online dating sites. This is not a hindrance for dating sites if all parties involved are under the same understanding. The problem presents itself when a person tricks someone else into their way of dating by means of lying about their situation or pretending to fall in love to move things to the next level. Married people that want to cheat on their spouses are willing to deceive to get what they want. People that want to have several sexual partners at the same time are using dating sites to supplement their search population because sites that are set up for casual sex are not enough. They need the thrill of the person falling in love to satisfy their aberration. This is where online dating gets a bad reputation. The people that are online for a real, long term relationship need to protect themselves just as they would on a face to face date. Do not fall for the words of love alone. Look for the actions of love before getting in too deep. Remember that “actions do speak louder than words.”
Patience is one of your best tools when searching for a real relationship.
Patience will save many disappointing conflicts and protect you from the worst of outcomes such as disease, rape, financial loss, and heartache. If a person is honest and truly looking to have a relationship with you, there will be definite signs. There will be an interest for them to try to get together, for coffee at least, in a public place. If a person wants to hide somewhere out of the way for a meeting with you then the game is over. If a person is unwilling to send you spontaneous pictures of themselves on occasion or can only speak with you on the phone while they are driving or at odd times of the day or night, then you should see the signs. At the very least you should use caution, be patient, and look for more signs as you go. Do not let yourself get too emotionally invested in a relationship until you have satisfied all your concerns.
It is a fine line that we must deal with when dating online. We have to give some information to be able to meet others at all. We need to trust in others enough to be able to make a connection but not enough as to open ourselves up for scams and hurt feelings. If we are willing to put ourselves out there for dating then we should be able convey that we are trustworthy by sending a picture to a person we are interested in. We should be able to chat on the phone on occasion and make time for a ten-minute cup of coffee in the afternoon to say hello and, if nothing else, make a friend. My advice is for everyone to exercise patience even when things seem to be perfect with the person you meet online. This is not always an easy thing to do. Many people have been online dating for years. This can make a person more forgiving of what could seem like a scam because they want to believe something real is finally happening. If you meet the perfect person they will, over time, expose themselves as the perfect person that they are, or as the trickster that you are trying to avoid.
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