Take Your Time To Find The Right One For You - M*A*T*E*

Take Your Time To Find The Right One For You

take-the-time-to-find-the-one-for-youNo one wants to hear “take your time” when discussing finding a romantic partner. We all want what we want, when we want it, especially when it’s something that we expect to translate directly into happiness. Jumping into something important such as choosing your significant other, can be a mistake that will haunt you for what seems like an eternity. Many people complain about not finding people to date soon enough. Others complain that now that they have found someone interesting, the relationship is not moving ahead fast enough for them. Still, others feel that if they can find someone that is willing to move ahead quickly with them, everything will be okay. With so many ways to have problems in a relationship, why would you want to skip steps in the “getting to know you” phase of any relationship? Protecting yourself in as many ways as you can is important when making decisions of any kind. There is no doubt that getting too close to someone too quickly can be dangerous for you on many levels. For this reason, you should search for your mate without delay but get to know them over some time. This way, there is more of a chance for the negative qualities in your potential mate to surface.

Much of the world today is designed to make things happen quickly. Too quickly. How often do you hear people say, “take your time” anymore? When it’s time to shop for a car your salesman is right by your side to get you to make a decision before you have time to think it through. When searching for a new home there is a realtor willing to jump through hoops to get your signature on a dotted line as soon as possible. When we are pursued by people interested in a relationship with us, they are usually persistent. They are, at times, willing to make you and themselves uncomfortable to move things at a pace fast enough that they are getting what they want. Everything pushed on us, in an urgent way, has reasons or qualities about it that suggest to us that

take-the-time-to-find-the-one-for-youwe need to move forward now or we could lose an opportunity. This is normally a good time for us to take a step back and look for things that are not to our benefit. Perhaps the vehicle you are looking at has poor reviews, or you haven’t had the opportunity to look the reviews up yet. Maybe the house that you think looks perfect at the moment is closer to an airport than you realize and you haven’t had time to look it over on a map yet. And yes, there are people that will try to rush you into an emotional connection with them before you know what you need to know in order to be safe.

We are living in a time now where we have come to expect instant gratification for everything. The high internet speeds have allowed us to have instant access to just about any type of information and entertainment that is imaginable. This evolution of technology and the way we interact with it has changed our patience levels and have skewed our way of thinking when it comes to how much time should pass before we can call something a failure or success. When dating online, it is important to remember that you are dealing with real people, with real concerns and reservations, and this results in cautiousness, and the passage of time. One of the reasons romance scammers are so successful is that they capitalize on the need for people to have success now. They say all the right things quickly so you can have that instant gratification, and they, in turn, have access to what they are seeking.

One of the most common complaints about online dating is that it is taking too long to find someone to date. While this is mostly due to the lack of understanding about how to use dating sites, it is also dependent on what you think of as too long. There are people that search for their mate on their own for several years with no success. At this point, they are willing to try a dating site, usually without putting the proper effort into it. After several months, they are discouraged with the dating site because they have not found a meaningful relationship yet. Is it giving the dating site an honest chance if you give it less time and without giving it your best effort? Online dating sites have thousands of participants. Most of them are committing the same mistakes and without seeking assistance from an online dating consultant. Sometimes, this is the missing key step in your online dating success. At some point, you should take a step back and think about how to make these sites work for you, and if you are using the best approach for success.

There are countless people that find online dating very helpful. Many find their romantic interest and would like to move ahead with it as quickly as possible. Often this can result in being in a situation that is very difficult, or impossible to get out of. Rushing into a relationship too fast can take-the-time-to-find-the-one-for-youresult in debt, broken apartment leases, court battles and so on. On a more serious scale, a rushed relationship can result in unplanned pregnancies, STDs, or a divorce. So many serious problems that could have been avoided by taking your time and learning more about who you are getting involved with. Give the relationship time to unfold and for the negatives to come to the surface. By doing this, you are giving yourself a choice as to what you are willing to accept as part of your life to keep the relationship.

Single people are, generally, on the lookout for their perfect match as they go about their everyday lives. Dating sites offer more people to search for and an easier way to do it. No matter how you find your romantic interest, it is important to protect yourself as much as possible. Rushing into any important decision is not healthy for anyone. A relationship is no different. A hurried relationship can cause emotional and/or physical distress and so much more. So, take your time. Gather information before taking a big step forward in your new relationship. Do not procrastinate, but give yourself a reasonable amount of time to get to know the people that you meet before handing over your heart and trust to them. If you are feeling pushed in any direction that you are not comfortable with, then you need to step back and make your intentions clear before going any further. Continue with your relationships in such a way that you are certain that your future will be a happy one, rather than regretting a hasty decision later.

I hope you enjoyed this post. Please be sure to leave any comments or questions in the comment section below. You may also join our forums to discuss any of these topics further. While you are here please sign-up for our FREE Ebook- Finding True Love Online: Ditching The Stigma. If you need personalized help check out our WE CAN HELP page to see what we can do for you.






8 Replies to “Take Your Time To Find The Right One For You”

  1. I agree that people should take their time on their next relationship. I’ve known people that rush it after being dumped so they won’t be sad for long, or so they think. I’m sure online dating has worked well for some, but you have to be careful and not be quick on deciding just on a person’s description. Hope this article helps others.

    1. Kevin, 

      Thank you for your comment. I know what you mean about people rushing into new relationships just to avoid the pain from an old one. You have probably heard the saying that the best way to get over a man or woman is to get under and new man or woman. This advice is flawed because it leads to compounded pain when the next relationship fails. In my opinion, it is important to take the time to grieve after a failed relationship and to give yourself time to heal and be better. This prepares you for the next relationship and helps you to learn from the last one. Being single is difficult for many people. For some it’s the quest to avoid loneliness, for others it is the stigma of being alone that causes people to rush. However, being single gives you time to be the type of mate that you hope to find and to figure out exactly who what be a good complement to you.

  2. Many people find dating some kind of mystery and prize so everybody rushes their head into things when everything just feels a bit “right”. If we follow our standards more closely, we will still find ourselves ending up with a lot of choices, especially in the online world. I agree with you with the fact that we should find a respectful partner without rushing ourselves into a disaster. That is how I found my current wife. We now have our own daughter. I wish people out there to be able to find themselves the perfect match and have more “planned” pregnancies.

    1. Win,

      Thank you for your comment. For some, dating is difficult. It is difficult for different reasons, one being that not everyone understands that finding a long-term partner goes beyond mere feelings. We do have to base our match on more than just feelings. You are right in saying that we must find someone who meets our standards, someone who we can feel proud to be with, someone we can respect, and someone who shares our core beliefs. I am not saying that feelings are not important, but I am saying that a relationship will not last if feelings, is the only thing being considered when choosing a life partner.

  3. Hey Matt,
    I think you are right about taking your time when it comes to relationships. I personally can’t agree with the analogy comparing it to buying a car or a house but I get what you ware trying to say. You are right, people need time to develop relationships. I don’t think it is unheard of or impossible for people to fall in love right away because I have seen it. But if you are looking for love online, I agree that you should be careful and take your time. Something that I think a lot of people forget when they are desperately searching for love is to be comfortable with themselves. If you expect to be comfortable with someone else and find a meaningful relationship with them, then you need to be comfortable in your own body and mind. Maybe if you are searching too hard for the one to complete you, you might project falsities about yourself in an effort to “hook” someone you are interested in. That is not fair to either of you. I say take your time and have fun and be yourself. If you can’t be happy alone and love who you are and you desperately NEED someone else in your life to fill the hole, you will search too hard and come up disappointed. That’s my opinion.
    Thanks for the write up Matt, I enjoyed reading it.

    1. Hello, thank you for the comment. You are absolutely correct in saying that it’s unfair to both parties if you project false information about yourself to someone, and that you might even do so without knowing it. Being patient is especially important in this case, because if you are desperate to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, you’re going to want to make sure they are a good match for you. If you feel that you have to slightly alter some facts about your life, or even make up some parts of it, in order to get someone to be with you, it is a sign that you are rushing to be with someone just to have someone and not be lonely. This is why I wrote a blog about being patient and being geniune; they are two very important factors in finding someone to share your life with, especially if you are trying to meet them through online dating. 

  4. How much patience you need probably depends on what you are after. If you want to date a few people to have some fun then of course you want things to happen quickly. However if you are looking for a partner for life then you must really do take your time and be careful.
    I think it is also important not to be to fuzzy. A lot of people are demanding a lot of their future partner but tend to forget that nobody is perfect and that forming a great couple is more about creating a fantastic relationship rather than meeting a fantastic person.

    1. Thank you for your comment. You are absolutely correct in saying that the patience you need to have depends are what you’re trying to accomplish with online dating. I’ve written a post about knowing what you want when you begin your search for love, so people can know about this when they first begin their search. Like you said, if you are looking for a friend or just to get to know some people, you wouldn’t need to spend as much time finding your perfect person.However, if you’re looking for someone to potentially spend the rest of your life with, it is well worth spending however long it takes, whether it’s a month or six months, if you’re going to end up being happy with them for years to come. 

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