What Is A Good Person To Date? How To Find A Good Man? - M*A*T*E*

What Is A Good Person? How To Find A Good Man?

Part III

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A good man. Who is a “good man”? I think just as with a good woman, this is open to interpretation. That being said, I believe most women would agree on several criteria that would qualify a man as being “good”. Aside from the obvious qualification of not being a criminal of any kind, I believe that in order to find a good man you must first define who or what you consider to be a good man.

I believe that most women, at their core, would describe a “good” man as someone who is responsible.

By responsible, I mean someone who is capable of being trusted. A responsible man may be trusted with your well-being, with your children’s well-being (if you have kids), with the well-being of anyone in his life who requires his trust. When I think of the kind of person, I can count on I describe that person as responsible and I believe it is a good quality to have as a man and as a person.


A woman would also consider a man who is able to take care of himself and a family financially to be a “good” man.  In this sense “good” does not have moral value, but it does have security value. Humans, in general, want to be safe and secure. They do not want to be blind-sided by unknown circumstances and they certainly do not want to have to worry constantly about whether they can keep a roof over their head or whether they can have a car to drive tomorrow. Women want security even if they are independent and can take care of themselves. They have a need to know that if someday they cannot provide for themselves then they can depend on their man to take the reins and carry on. I know there are some men who believe that if a woman thinks of financial security as a “good” quality for a man then she must be a gold-digger, but I differ from that line of thinking because, from a human perspective, it just makes sense.

Another quality of a good man is being able to love someone besides himself.

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It is unfortunate, but there are many people today who are extremely selfish. It is not even entirely their fault, but a result of their upbringing. As a society we have bred more and more selfish individuals as the concept of individualism is taught in homes, schools etc. I am not saying that individualism is a bad concept, I am saying that it leads to less caring individuals. Fortunately, there are still men who believe in family and can care about others. These men often go out of their way to help others and contribute to society without expecting anything in return.

A good man in my opinion and I believe most women would agree, is a faithful man. If a man cannot be faithful to you when he has made it clear that he wants you exclusively, then he is not a good man. I do not believe that “good” men cheat on their wives or girlfriends no matter what his excuse is. If you are involved with a man and he belongs to someone else, then you are not with a good man. A good man would free himself legally from any entanglement that would prevent him from being with you in the way that he should be.

A good man would always have your back.

Support is one of the most valuable aspects of any relationship. When thinking of the many men who would throw you under the bus when it suits them, you can understand the value of a man who would stick with you through thick and thin. A good man is one who would listen when you just need to vent and who would defend you even when his friends and family think the worse of you.

I could go on about the qualities of a good man, but that is not why I am writing this blog. I simply stated some qualities of a good man so that you would know that to find one you need to know what you are looking for. You cannot find something if you have no clue what it is. There are women that meet good men but let them slip through their fingers, so to speak because they have no idea what a good man is. So now that you have an idea about who or what is a good man, how do you find one?

How-to-find-a-good-man-e-dating-solutions-comGood men are everywhere, but there are some places that have a shortage of them.

You still have to choose based on your lifestyle and seek the specific qualities that you expect in a good man. In other words, if you like going to the club, a man who has an aversion to clubbing would probably not be your best match. Although I cannot tell you where to find a good man I can tell you how to find a good man. To find a good man requires some self-knowledge. You have to know yourself and what you constitute as a “good man”. You must also decide what you are willing to overlook to find your man. The truth is, most women would want a man they consider to be “hot”. Is there anything wrong with that? No! Absolutely not! The good thing about this though, is that “hot” is in the eye of the beholder so this is something that will be determined on an individual basis. There are good men who do not show up in the packaging that you have in mind and you must decide if you want a “good” man or a good-looking man. As we know, these things do not always come together.

To find a good man you have to specify to potential suitors exactly what qualities you are seeking in a man. Click here to read more about dating with a purpose. If you only say that you want a good man, just about every man you meet will claim to be exactly who you are looking for. It is imperative that you specify what qualities you are seeking in your “good man” so that you may attract and find this person.

Thank you for reading my post. I hope you enjoyed this three-part series. In case you missed part I and II you may find them here  Looking For A Good Woman and What Is A Good Person.?


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8 Replies to “What Is A Good Person? How To Find A Good Man?”

  1. I found this article to be very detailed. Good men ARE everywhere, it’s just about taking the time to get to know them and if there is no attraction then that’s fine but people these days base a lot of what the like on “HOT”.
    Physical attraction and emotional attraction are two very different things. If you aren’t willing to get to know someone first, then more than likely you will not know what you are looking for.

    1. Hi Kayla,

      Thank you for your comment. Your comment shows a great deal of wisdom. You are right that people based much of their attraction on what is “HOT” instead of what is real. I do not want to discount chemistry for any relationship, but chemistry is not what makes relationships last the test of time. It is emotional attraction and truly loving the person for who they are that make relationships work. You are right that it is important for people to know and realize the difference between emotional and physical when seeking a love relationship. Knowing this difference and being able to recognize it would help you to know what and whom you are seeking.

  2. Awesome article,
    For someone who is single like myself waiting to be found, I have to admit that going out on a date is not that easy. Its like an interview. A spiritual interview which in the end analyzes if the male is a good match. I recently found an awesome match and the hard part was getting asked out again! lol

  3. I am also looking for that perfect, or good man. I have been married and divorced before, so I guess that I am a little picky. I loved the post and if good men are everywhere I have not found one yet. Still looking and hoping for that perfect guy.

  4. Personally, I consider myself to be a good man, but then again, opinions come in varieties so I will leave myself from the spotlight. You are right about the most important qualities of a good man. Not only are those qualities of a good man, but I believe they are qualities of a real man. A lot of men consider themselves a man nowadays even though they don’t have the backbone to be truly responsible for the woman they love. They only wuss out and think about superficial benefits from a relationship. This is why good men are not all over the place nowadays. Not a lot of people has learned to act like a real man and give true security to the woman they love. What do you think? Or am I very far off? This is important for me too, because once my baby daughter grows up, I will have to consider how she finds a good man.

    1. Hello Win, thank you for your comment. You are absolutely right in saying that a good man or good woman is going to be dependent on each person’s opinions. I believe that there are a lot of people in the world that most would consider a real man as you said. However, thanks to the internet and online dating, we have the ability to see and learn about so many more people than we ever could before, so we see a lot more of the negative as well as the positive. There are a lot of different characteristics of what could be considered a real man, but as long as the people we love have the qualities we desire, and we are all honest about ourselves, we should all be able to find the person that is best for us. 

  5. Ok, yes I am looking for a good man! Problem is, they may be everywhere but they are still hard to find! I don’t find myself to be in a rush, and maybe I am too picky…or so I have been told. But hey, I just want one partner for life. So I think you need to be picky right? Great post!

    1. Thank you for your comment. Several of my posts have reiterated the need to choose your dates carefully if you intend to have a meaningful, long-term relationship. It is true that good men are everywhere, but they are not always easy to spot. Many people accept whatever is available and deal with the heartache that comes with it, instead of taking the time to look for what they really want. One of the most important things when looking for love, on or offline, is to first know what you are looking for. This knowledge will help you recognize a good man when you meet him. Of course you have to take the time to make sure he meets the specs that you use to qualify who is a good man for you.
      It is also a good thing that you are not in a rush, because being a happy, confident, single person is a great way to prepare you to meet the love of your life. This way, you become the kind of match that you want to meet, making you even more attractive to potential suitors.
      Thank you again for your comment. If you ever need help find Mr. Right, WE CAN HELP.

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