It might sound unusual for me to proclaim that you should learn to be single when all my discussions are about finding a partner. The fact is, people overlook a basic fact when thinking about online dating. That is that people are looking for singles that meet their criteria. People are in search of that special someone that matches their ideal mate. There are many categories involved in being an ideal mate. While everyone may have their own unique criteria, there are some that should be universal. These would include reliability, thoughtfulness, empathy, being cooperative, and self-confidence. The best way to show that you possess these characteristics is to do well at being single. If you’re a person that has never had a serious relationship, then you need to be a confident single person. If you are someone that has been in long-term relationships or even married, then you need to learn to be single again.
Being single, for some, is like a disease. They hide it from their friends and walk around like if they are carrying a big secret. Being single is not anything to be ashamed of and if anyone tries to make you feel less than for it, you probably need other friends. Being single is the perfect opportunity to get to know yourself and to be happy with who you are. If you are not happy with who you are then who would be happy with you? It is also the perfect time to prepare yourself for the kind of mate you would like to meet. Being single does not mean you have to be alone. You can fill the gap with people who love and care about you while you work on yourself, and take the time to find the right partner. For many, it is difficult to feel confident while going through a disappointing part of life such as coping with being alone. There are ways, in everyday life, to gain confidence. To take control of your life and be independent. This will give you an advantage while searching for “the one”.
Having the will to move on with your life, despite having personal problems of any kind, is a difficult thing to do. Being single, for many, can be discouraging or even traumatizing. It is a common thought that we will never be happy again because the person that we seek is not already in our lives. I have never seen this to be true. It is best to understand that being single is a temporary situation. Being single is something that everyone goes through at some point in their lives and it will change if you want it to. Somewhere in the world there is a match for all of us. Online dating has made it possible for us to search the world for a connection in a much more effective way than ever before. Therefore, we should use the time that we are single to work on our own individual shortcomings rather than being lost in the thought that our perfect match does not exist. How do you use your single time wisely? Use one of your hobbies to be a leader in a group that interests you. Join a club that fits your schedule conveniently so that you can always have time for it. Become a member of a health club to give yourself more energy and the feeling that you’re doing something that is just for you. Get involved in a charity. That will use part of your free time to help others. There are so many ways to use your single time in a positive way that helps others, helps yourself, and builds qualities that other singles are looking for in a mate. You should also notice that all the things that I gave you as an example have something in common. These extra activities will connect you with people. Interacting with people in different venues will make a difference in your overall outlook and possibly even make a friend. It may even lead you to your soulmate.
It has been my experience though, that love comes knocking when you are not even looking. Therefore, do not do your extra activities because you are trying to find a partner, but because you actually enjoy doing your activities and if you find love, then that is a bonus.
Confidence in yourself as a single person comes from personal successes. It can also come from our failures. I, as most people, have had many ups and downs in all areas of my life. My failures in my personal life were devastating at the time that I was working through them. I worked my way through it knowing there is something better in my future. I now know how to trust myself and my decisions instead of relying on others to get me through. I used my failures as a learning tool instead of dwelling on them. I have also learned what it takes to make a real relationship. When I met my wife online, we spent months on the phone and on Skype. We each had our own successful lives, and all the time that we needed, to get to know each other. Talking with each other was time well spent. We were looking for signs that we might not have been compatible. We were also looking for qualities that we had in common. We found that, though we both had some quirks, we had the most important things in common. To us, the important thing was that we were not desperate to be a couple, we wanted to be a couple. We were doing well as singles. We had no problems financially or personally. We were confident successful individuals. We learned to be single and it made us attractive to each other. This is what gave us the confidence to start building a life together without hesitation. Not only will being a confident single person give you a better chance of finding your mate, but it will also give you a more fulfilling life while waiting for your next connection.
The bottom line is if you’re single look at it as an opportunity. This is an opportunity to prepare yourself for when you find your soulmate, an opportunity to find the right person and an opportunity to know yourself and your needs best. Many times you hear people say that they have grown apart and changed in the relationship, it is because they forgot to take the time to know who they are before they joined with another person. Sometimes it works out because their partner accommodates the growth and change but sometimes it doesn’t because the changes are too great.
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