Why do we communicate? Communication is an extremely important part of everyone’s lives. Whether it is at our jobs or in our personal lives, being able to communicate allows us to do what we need or want to do. Obviously, this applies to forming and maintaining relationships just as much as it does our professional or personal lives. Effective communication has been made easier than ever thanks to the introduction of the internet and cell phones. It is rare to go anywhere and not see somebody talking to or texting someone while they go about their daily activities. As nice as it is to be able to contact any of your friends or family within seconds, it is important that we don’t take for granted having a face to face conversation with the people we care about.
Should I call or should I text?
When using online dating sites, it is very likely that the first contact you have with someone is going to be through text, whether through a message on the website or through a text message on your phone. While there isn’t anything wrong with this, it is very important that we don’t rely solely on these mediums to get to know the person that you hope to spend your life with. Effective communication will allow you to get to know your potential mate better, connect with them, and figure out if you’re a good match for each other. An email or text message might allow you to get to know some basic facts about somebody, but there is no substitute for hearing someone’s voice and having an actual conversation with them.
One huge benefit of verbal communication is that if you’re speaking to someone, you know that you have their undivided attention. It allows you to tell whether this person is truly interested in you and wants to hear what you’re saying to them, or if they’re simply nodding their heads and muttering an occasional yes or no, waiting for the conversation to end so they can move on with their day. If you’ve ever sent someone a text message and waited minutes, or even hours, for a response, you probably know all too well the feeling of frustration or disappointment of that person not giving you their attention. It takes time and effort to get to know somebody, and you can learn a lot more about someone if you speak to them rather than read what they have to say on the screen of a cell phone or computer.
Do you prefer texting a love interest, talking to them on the phone or chatting face to face? Why do you think one is better than the other?
Verbal Communication Is Better When Trying To Get To Know Someone.
Another reason everyone should try not to rely only on text-based methods of communication is that it makes it a lot easier for there to be miscommunications. [Read When To Make The First Phone Call] I’m sure at some point in our lives, we’ve all received a message from someone, read it, and have been offended or upset by what they wrote. Even though this sometimes may have been their intention, a lot of the time it is simply because you can’t hear their voice and fully understand what they’re trying to tell you. Text messages don’t convey tone very well, and something completely innocent, or even playful, may seem rude to you when you read it. A good example of this is sarcasm because you can usually tell when someone is being sarcastic by how their voice changes, or through facial expressions. Body language is an important part of communication, and it is something that just can’t be expressed through a text message or email.
Speaking Does Not Mean You Are Communicating
Aside from how we communicate, we need to make sure we are communicating. Different people have different personalities, so there are some who communicate a lot better than others. However, if you’re going to spend an extended period or even the rest of your life with someone, it’s important that you know that person very well. We need to be honest and upfront with them, and tell them everything about us, even if the things that we’re telling them aren’t the most glamorous. If we avoid this it will only cause problems after the relationship develops, and it could potentially waste the time of you and your partner if things don’t end well. When you meet someone online, it is exciting to think that they may be the one. Part of dating is getting to know someone and hear about the experiences they’ve had, what they like and dislike, and what they want to do in life. It is a lot easier to understand how passionate they are about something by hearing their voice when they tell you about them, rather than read it.
Have you ever felt that you are speaking but not being heard? What circumstances make you feel that way?
Listening Is Important
One of the most important, and often missed, parts of communicating is listening. Many people are eager to talk about themselves and the things that make them interesting, but they forget to listen. Does this make an introvert a better communicator? Does this mean an extrovert is a poor communicator? In my opinion no to both questions, because someone can be silent without listening. In the same way, a person can be talkative but also takes the time to listen.
Listening allows you to engage on a deeper level with the person you are trying to get to know better. If you listen, not only do you show interest, but you also could pick up on little nuances that can be easily missed. This is especially important if you are dating cross-culturally. To be specific, the USA is a multi-cultural, multifaceted nation. It is unlikely if you find someone that does not live in your hometown, that they would have the same culture as you do. For broader cultural definitions, the burden of communicating effectively is still greater. That makes listening so much more important.
How important is listening to you in your efforts to communicate? Do you think that you listen enough?
So, Why Do People Communicate?
People communicate to get to know each other and to express their feelings, needs, and desires to those around them. While there are many ways to communicate in today’s world, nothing will bring people together as well as hearing each other’s voice. Effective communication is an essential part of any relationship, whether it’s with a couple who have been married for fifty years, a newly formed relationship, or two people who just met each other through a dating website and are trying to learn more about each other. The better you are at communicating, the more likely you are to succeed in finding the person that you feel is a good fit for you.
When you do find that person, good communication is what is going to allow you to have a happier, healthier, and long-lasting relationship with them. So, when you do find a person that you think might be a good match for you, take advantage of the tools we have in today’s world but pick up the phone. Call them, or even start a video chat when it feels comfortable for both of you. Effective communication is not only the ability to express yourself, it is also the ability to know when to progress to the more personal forms of communication. We should never try to rush someone into a more personal form of conversation. We can, however, keep our initial form of communication interesting and informative so that a more effective verbal communication will be invited sooner.
If you ever need a hand or have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to help you out.
All the best,