Before giving the 10 reasons why you should date with purpose, let us first look at the definition of purpose. According to Merriam Webster’s Dictionary online, purpose is “the reason why something is done or used: the aim or intention of something.” In this post, we will examine why it is important to date with a purpose and how you would go about doing that.
To date with a purpose, you first must ask yourself what you hope to accomplish by dating. Are you looking for a soulmate? Are you looking for a long-term relationship? Are you looking for a relationship where the end goal is marriage? Are you looking for friends, companionship, a lover? If you can answer these questions then at least you know why you are dating. Saying you are dating to find love is a superficial answer. Why? Because finding love does not mean the same thing to everyone. For some finding love means finding sex and for others finding love means finding a marriage partner. You should actually define what you mean by finding love so that the person you become interested in would have a solid idea of what you are looking for.
- Dating with a purpose simplifies the process. Dating in the true sense of the word does not have to be complicated, however, that does not mean it doesn’t have it’s complications. Dating is complicated because it usually involves people with different personalities, backgrounds, faiths, hobbies, beliefs etc. Having a purpose for dating helps to simplify the process because you would have asked yourself the important questions and you know what type of person you are looking for as well as what aspects of their differences you are willing to accommodate such as beliefs, faith, hobbies etc.
- Dating with a purpose clarifies your intentions. When you date with purpose, it is important that you are honest about your intentions and state them clearly on your profile. You may alienate some, but isn’t that what this is about? Finding compatible individuals? Stating your intentions clearly would allow you to meet like-minded individuals whose intentions are the same or similar to your own. This is half of the battle when dating.
- Dating with a purpose requires honesty and demands the same. Being honest about what you want and who you want demands the same from the people around you. Showing that you are willing to see a person’s flaws if they are compatible to you without being overly judgmental, would allow others to share openly with you about their needs and wants in a relationship. If you can express the importance of honesty to a potential mate, that would encourage him/her to be open and honest. Honesty is a core virtue in any relationship. Starting any relationship with honesty reduces the need for suspicion and distrust later.
- Dating with a purpose cuts through the red tape of figuring out what each other wants. When one dates with purpose they are clear about what they expect in and out of the relationship. This eliminates the sleepless nights and days pondering whether he/she is serious about you. Whether your partner is just stringing you along or if they are indeed leading you to the altar. Mind you, not everyone is looking for a committed relationship and if you are one of those people, it is best to state that on your profile, so as not to waste the time of those who are seeking a more permanent arrangement.
- Dating with a purpose may shorten the time it takes to find your mate. One of the biggest time wasters in dating (online or otherwise) is going through tons of ambiguous profiles, not knowing who is who or what their true intentions are. Dating with a purpose will help you to attract people who are looking for the same things as you because your profile will state your intentions and discourage many of the time wasters. Remember, like attracts like so generally people will shy away from those who they think are different from themselves. This by itself will help to reduce the amount of time you spend searching for your love and help you connect sooner with a like-minded person.
- Dating with a purpose allows you to focus on the end goal. Knowing your purpose for dating, helps you to keep your focus on your final goal. For many this goal is marriage. There are couples who have dated for years and never brought up the subject of marriage because they are dating without purpose. They are not candid enough with each other to even broach the subject and in some cases, they may be afraid to talk about it because they do not know if the talk will change the status quo in an undesirable way. Dating with a purpose avoids this problem altogether because each person in the relationship knows what the end goal is, and since they are being honest with each other, they know they are moving toward that same goal.
- Dating with a purpose weeds out the undesirables. When someone looks at your profile with your stated purpose, your wants, needs, deal breakers etc. they would know exactly if they fit the type of person you are looking for. More times than not, it would encourage a person who does not have much in common with you to move right along and therefore not waste your time.
- Dating with a purpose helps to build trust. When a person knows from the beginning what your purpose is and what you are expecting from a relationship, it is easier for them to trust you because you have not hidden yourself from them. This also tells them that they can be the same way with you and this openness helps to build trust. Nothing is worse for a relationship than secrets and although you will still have to get to know a person, you should not have to guess at their intentions.
- Dating with a purpose improves communication. It is easier to talk about the important things with someone you can trust and someone who is compatible with you. This is because your similar beliefs and goals help you to understand each other better. This makes communicating simpler because there would be less of a need to translate. Many things can hamper communication, but having a purpose for what you are doing makes it easier because there is no confusion about what you are doing.
- Last, but not least, dating with a purpose gets results. I have heard many people complain about dating online for years without finding a meaningful relationship or dating in general and having trouble meeting the right person. When you know why you are dating and what you hope to achieve from the process you are less likely to have to spend years with no success. The truth is that once you can be straightforward enough with your love interests from the beginning about your purpose, you will isolate the ones with whom you should be spending time from those who are merely good-looking. Once you find someone who fits in with your purpose, you can then focus on accomplishing what you set out to achieve through the dating process. In the long-run you end up spending more time with the person you love than with people who you are trying to figure out.
So, go ahead, know your purpose, and state your intentions. It will only benefit you and your relationship in the end and it will save you a great deal of headache and heartache too.
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